chronogically inaccurate

In mid Feb 2009, the day after Valentines, when the sugar high went south, I realized that “Google is Out to Get Me“.

4 months later, I am officially declaring my intent to divorce myself (completely, comprehensively, 100%ly) from Google.

Heretoforthwith, I shall refer to the aforementioned company as a STGRB in reference to short term gamma ray bursts. STRGB will be italicized.

Actually, I am not, some readers have told me that they are confused.  In fact, it has sorta confused me.  So I plan to refer to Google as Google.  Just remember, they’re really headed toward a gamma ray burst.

Forthwith from here, I am gonna maintain a to-do list:

1. Cancel google.mail accounts (4-7 of them) … this I am gonna have to do last, but I really want to do it first.
2. Scrub down google mail contacts.  607 contacts over the years.  Only about 100 matter to me.
3. DONE! (and a good way to drive traffic to blog) Announce to friends and family that I have divorced google and I can be reached via other means.
4. Any accounts that use the old google account to verify anything (amazon, fb, wells fargo, etc.) need to get changed.
5. DONE! Remove ALL data, documents, spreadsheets, etc for documents.google.com
6. DONE! Unhook from the reader.google.com
7. DONE! Shut down analytics.google.com
8. DONE! Clear my schedule from calendar.google.com
9. Remove all Google embedded functionality from browsers, open office (not MS) products, wherever they might be
10. Start using other search engines.  Look for the nonames that are gonna be some names maybe someday soon
11. Formally request full, binding, irrevocably legal separation and divorce publicly to Google.
12. {Space reserved to todo}
13. {Space reserved to todo}
14. Hug my kids and pick them up from the laundromat.
15. Be a great husband and not put our kids in dryers.
16. Take my medicine.  Oh Crap.

Oh the places i’ll go to get away from Google.  I am soooooooooooo excited.  I feel like I am kicking a nasty habit.  Getting off the heroine.  Confessing my sins.  To EVERYONE.

Maybe the next blog will explain why.  Or maybe I’ll explain how costly this divorce could be from David’s (& Goliath, duh!) perspective.